


Would You, Could You, Say 'I Do'?

by varibean



Category: Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon)
Genre: So here we go!, and one of my favorite artists made some killer art, i wanted something soft and sweet, yoooo wedding fic time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:46:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21703186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/varibean/pseuds/varibean
Summary: His life was anything but consistent and marriage was the most steadfast constant of it all in addition to-as his elders always said-death and taxes. But he’d cheated death and he didn’t pay his taxes so that was already two down.
Relationships: Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 95





	Would You, Could You, Say 'I Do'?

In previous stages of his life, when Sam I-Am thought about his future, marriage was never part of it. He was a romantic, somewhat at least. Having never gotten to experience romance first hand he couldn’t really say for sure but he liked the idea. The notion that somewhere there was a person just for him who would vow to never leave him behind, to always stay by his side, was enticing to put it plainly. But he never thought it was an actuality. The thought had never crossed his mind that such a life could be for him.

His life was anything but consistent and marriage was the most steadfast constant of it all in addition to-as his elders always said-death and taxes. But he’d cheated death and he didn’t pay his taxes so that was already two down. 

Everything was always moving; his jobs, his home, his identity. Never in his life was he one person for two long. It started to make him sick if he was. Every new persona was fun at first but in the back of his mind there was always the thought, the fear that if he stayed as one person too long he would find out a terrible truth: He didn’t like the person he had become. 

So he jumped and switched from fake ID to fake ID, only staying for the fun part. Nothing more, nothing less. 

And then there was Guy.  _ His  _ Guy. His wonderful, amazing, perfect Guy who could do so many amazing things and came up with the most incredible ideas. Suddenly, with Guy, he wasn’t scared of being the same person anymore. He didn’t have to fear who he would be because whoever he was, Guy was going to be there too.

For a while it was just a promise of words. Nothing binding or set in stone, just the knowledge that Guy would always be there for him, that he liked him just the way he was. Sam thought that would be enough. They didn’t need to take the next steps forward because why risk the unknown when life was so comfortable as it was? 

Then came the night that Guy took him on a small hometown cold air balloon. And there among the clouds just barely scraping above the roofs of the houses below them, Guy got down on one knee.

The ring wasn’t terribly special; just a silver band with the tiniest emerald in the middle, the green hue sparkling in the moonlight like a cosmos seen from a far off telescope. What could Sam do but say yes? 

Up there, away from the world with just the two of them, the words seemed so easy to say. Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! They spilled from his mouth like the crack of a perfectly runny yolk and he never thought anything in the world could taste as good as green eggs and ham but then Guy kissed him as the fog of the night drifted by him and he knew that some things just existed beyond compare or dispersion. 

Everything was easier up in the air. But all things had to come back down to earth eventually. 

The dressing room he stood in was lit up like a mall during the holiday season. On their own Sam and Guy couldn’t afford much but as there luck would have it the rest of the Am-I family wanted to pitch in for the youngest golden child. The bruckles poured in from Mr. and Mrs. Am-I and Guy’s brothers and no expense had been spared on setting everything up for the two. The venue, the flowers, the food; all if it five star and perfect in every way. 

And of course, above all else, the dress. 

The long and wide floor to ceiling mirror in the dressing room reflected the fabric back perfectly. If one were to spare it only a glance, it could be said that the dress was simple. The cut was a flower bud covered boat neck, showing off the slight dip of his collar before fading into a near sheer sleeve design. Crystals were sewn into the fabric, making his arms sparkle under the lights. The dress itself had a ribboned waist that showed off his slight form before fanning out as the rest of the dress poofed around him. It wasn’t overly fluffy, but it was well fitted and flowy. Plenty of room to move while still looking elegant. 

Was he elegant? 

Staring in the mirror, Sam wasn’t so sure. Elegant was never a word he thought of when he considered himself in a physical sense. Short, slender, rounded; those were words that described him. But beautiful? Radiant? Elegant? All the things he was told someone to marry should be? He wasn’t quite sure. 

“Sam? It’s almost time. Do you have the veil on?” Michellee’s voice echoed in the near empty room.

For such a large and grand dressing room, there really wasn’t anyone else needed to get him into the dress. The lingering con-artist in him thought of money and how easy a wedding scam could go off. But he quickly shook his head at the thought before he ran his hands over his face. 

“Yeah I’m-I mean no, I haven’t put it on yet I was just...uh-”

“Nervous?” Michellee offered with a smirk.

Sam opened his mouth to object but then realized it was useless to do so. He was trying not to lie as much, to be more honest with himself. 

“Maybe, just an itty-bitty-teeny-weeny-itsy-bitsy smidgen of a smidge. Like, half a smidge. No, strike that, one twenty-seventh of a smidge.” 

Michellee laughed and suddenly Sam felt a little bit better about everything. 

“It’s ok Sam. I remember my wedding day. Of course, I didn’t have rich in-laws to pay for everything-”

“Hey come on, it’s not like we asked for it!”

“-But it was still the most important day of my life. Well, up until I had E.B.” 

Sam chuckled and smoothed out the fabric of his dress even though it didn’t need it. As he did so, Michellee picked up the veil from its resting place and put it on his head.

“How’d you know?” Sam asked.

“Know what?”

“How’d you know that it wasn’t one big mistake? How’d you know that everything wasn’t going to fall apart?” 

There was hardly a moment of silence before Michelle gently turned him around to face her, away from the mirror, away from all of his doubts reflected back at him.

“I didn’t. That’s the fun part isn’t it? Not knowing but still wanting to see. Going for it and knowing no matter where you land you’d be holding someone else’s hand. Trying something new.”

“Trying something new.” He repeated. 

A smile formed on his lips and he reached for her arm to loop his around. 

“Alright. Alright, here you go I-Am. Off to try something new.”

* * *

Guy’s Mother walked Sam down the aisle and the action only caused the slightest pang of sadness within him. But he was able to shake it off, kept his eyes forward and fixed on the altar. 

The venue was a small park area just beside Guy’s home, everything rented out and decorated for an informal (but still, at the older Am-I’s insistence, fairly expensive) ceremony and party. 

The second he saw Guy he knew that he was ridiculous for ever having any doubts. The knox was dressed in a charming bowtie and a deep blue wreath of flowers topped of his head. He looked so much younger without the hat, without the scowl marks. Instead smile lines had taken their place as his husband to be positively beamed at him. 

Sam hadn’t even realized he was at the stand until Guy reached over to take his hand. 

“You look amazing, Sam.”

“Yeah, well, one of had to do a booty tooch down the catwalk.”

Sam smiled as he saw Guy’s cheeks puff up as he choked back a laugh. He wanted Guy to make that face every day and soon, that goal was going to be closer to a reality. 

The officiant nodded to Guy after the happy murmurs of the crowd died down to start. 

“Sam I-Am, the first days after I met you, you took my briefcase, dragged me along on the craziest job in the entire world, nearly got me killed more times than I could count, and stole my wallet three times. Those were the best days of my life and every day since then has just kept getting better. You’re a weird little adult and I can’t find any room in the refrigerator for any of the groceries because all you keep in there is ham and eggs. The amount of luck you possess is almost infuriating and you are, by far, the biggest dope I’ve ever met. But...you’re my hope man and I always know that I have you in my corner. You gave me a reason to keep on trying and, Sam, every day...every day for the rest of our lives I want to keep trying new things with you. I think your luck really did rub off on me at some point, because otherwise I can’t imagine how I ended up so yipping lucky-sorry I know I’m not supposed to curse during these things but it’s true. So, if you’ll have me, I want to spend the rest of my life with you...um, the end? It’s-It’s been a while since I’ve been to a wedding I didn’t really think of a closer.” 

There was a small chuckle that passed throughout the audience at Guy’s fumble and Sam could see in his eyes that he meant every word of his vows. 

“Wow. You see, I had this whole spoken word musical number that I was gonna try to pull off in a dress but that just made me forget about ninety percent of it. So I guess I’ll just say that no one has ever really wanted me to stay the same person before. No one’s ever hung around long enough to decide if I was worth it. But you did. And that was the first time I thought that maybe I didn’t have to run away from myself anymore. I still don’t know who I want to be in this world, what kind of a difference I want to make, but I know I want to do it all with you. And, this is embarrassing, I don’t really have a closer either.”

Both men turned to the officiant with a questioning look, only to have the other shrug at them. 

“I always thought weddings were supposed to be way longer and more boring,” Sam started, “But I think we’re good? Can say the Big Final Words and do the kissing thing now? I wanna skip to that part.” 

Sam and Guy took out their rings and slipped them onto each other’s fingers with another nod of approval from the officiant. 

“You’re absolutely ridiculous. I do.” Guy said.

“I do!” 

And with that, Guy lifted him up bridal style and dipped him, a small nuzzle passing between them before they finally sealed it all together with a kiss.

The small crowd of friends and family cheered for the two as their grins became so wide that it seemed like their faces would crack.

Guy sat Sam down gently and before they began to walk into the crowd, he leaned over and chuckled. 

“I was really excited to see you in your wedding attire. And as always, you didn’t disappoint.”

Sam giggled before standing on the tips of his toes and whispering something into Guy’s ear.

As the cheering and talking started to commence all around them, the knox’s face turned a bright red. 

“Can’t say I don’t feel the same with you Wedding Buddy!” Sam chirped before heading out to the sea of smiling faces ready to congratulate him and get the party started. 

Guy stood there for a moment, his face beating red as his brothers came and slapped him on the back for a job well done. 

It was going to be an interesting honeymoon. 

**Author's Note:**

> i got inspired by this wonder artwork here by fluttytheflutt  
> https://fluttytheflutt.tumblr.com/post/189407511305/the-day-that-someone-writes-a-fanfic-about-guy-and  
> and just had to write some fanfic for it! so here's a short and sweet wedding fic for these cuties!


End file.
